Warning Signs of Abuse
When beginning a new relationship, sometimes the excitement of going out with
someone you really like stops you from seeing the warning signs of abuse. You
don't have to have broken bones or a black eye to be abused. You may be
experiencing emotional abuse, which might turn into physical abuse.
Are you with someone who....
- Is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you,
won't accept breaking up.
- Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the
decisions, doesn't take your opinion seriously.
- Is scary. You worry about how they will react to things you say or do.
- Is violent: has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly. Brags about
- Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary around sex. Attempts to
manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying "if you really loved me you would".
- Gets too serious about the relationship too fast.
- Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them.
- Blames you when they mistreat you. Says you provoked them, pressed their
buttons, made them do it, led them on.
- Has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for all the
problems. "they just don't understand me."
- Believes men should be in control and powerful and that women should be
passive and submissive.
- Has hit, pushed, choked, restrained,
kicked, or physically abused you.
- Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you they
were worried for you safety.
- If you answered "yes" to more than two of these questions, turn to someone
for help before the "ultimate date" turns on you.
- Some people you could talk to might be:
- police officer
- a member of your family
- a teacher or school counselor
- your friends or their parents
- your priest, minister or rabbi
- a doctor or nurse
- people in court, the local prosecuting attorney or victim advocate
- staff at battered women's programs
- another adult you trust