REASONS NOT TO KILL
by Mari Collings ©
Because you deserve to live.
Because your life has value, whether or not you can see it,
Because it was not your fault,
Because you didn't choose to be battered and used,
Because life itself is precious, because they were and are wrong,
Because you are connected to each and every other ritual abuse
survivor, and so your daily battle automatically gives others hope
Because you will feel better, eventually
Because each time you confront despair
you get stronger .. you can't know now what you will ultimately be able to
do with this new morsel of strength, what future battles you will be able
Because if you die today you will never again feel love for another
human being, or trust, or gratitude; because you will never again see
kindness and compassion in another's eyes.
Because if you die today you will never again see sunlight pouring
through the leaves of a tree, or a bird take flight, or feel the quality
of light in winter,
Because the seconds do not cease their passing, because even if it
feels like time has become an unbearably heavy stone, it has not, and you
only have to endure,
Because you have already won .. you have known the cleverness and
resiliency and courage and stubborn will to make it this far, and no one
can take that away,
Because the will to live is not a cruel punishment, even if it feels
like that at times: it is a priceless gift.
Because your inner children need you, they have no one else and their
need is so great, and because they deserve more than anyone to be healed
and comforted; they are true heroes against impossible odds.
Because you owe your inner children, they are the reason you are here.
If you die today you will erase the meaning of their suffering and
incredible endurance, and that is too great a loss,
Because you already have the skills to find your healing path; you have
proven this over and over again,
Because we need more warriors against this evil,
Because we need survivors to offer testament against this horror and
Because no one knows better than you the meaning of suffering, and
agony deepens the heart,
Because you deserve the peace that will come after this battle is won,
and it will be won, but only minute by minute .. we must learn to let go
of the unconquerable,
Because we can all come together in later years to laugh in their
faces; because we will be able to show them that even though they had all
the power and strength and ruthless cunning, even though we were only
helpless, innocent, dependent children, we will have beaten them at the
game they so smugly thought they had mastered,
Because I am furious that we have to suffer the pain of another's evil
Because you too will one day feel fury,
Because it is critical that you survive.
You may print out this poem
for your own personal use.
Permssion to publish is reserved by the