of the Site Map
Abusive Power & Control
Tactics in Relationships
With gender neutral terms, this list can and does fit either
partner. It takes two to do this dance, decide not to be part of the dance and
take back your own power.
- Physical Abuse:
Pushing, shoving, hitting, slapping, choking, pulling
hair, punching, grabbing, kicking, beating, throwing your partner down, using a weapon
against your partner, twisting arms, tripping, biting.
- Emotional Abuse:
Putting your partner down or
attempting to make your partner feel bad about themselves,
calling your partner names. Making your partner think they are crazy. Mind games.
- Economic Abuse:
Trying to keep your partner from getting or keeping a job. Making
your partner ask for money, giving your partner an allowance, taking
your partner's money.
- Sexual Abuse:
Making your partner do sexual things against
their will. Physically
attacking the sexual parts of your partner's body. Treating your partner like a sex object. Making
your partner feel inadequate sexually. Refusing sex as a manipulation tactic.
- Using Children:
Making your partner feel guilty about the children, using the
children to give messages, using visitation as a way to harass your partner.
Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt
emotionally. Threaten to take your partner's children, commit suicide, and report
your partner to
- Using Fe/Male Privilege:
Treating your partner like a servant. Making all the "big"
decisions. Acting like the "master/mistress of the castle".
Putting your partner in fear by using looks, actions, gestures, loud
tone of voice, smashing things, destroying your partner property.
Controlling what your partner does, who
your partner sees and talks to, where your partner goes.
- Legal System Abuse:
Either threatening, or actually taking
your partner back to
court for more money when actually you only want to punish or manipulate your
Using legal loopholes to coerce your partner to pay you money that s/he doesn't really owe.