Do I Have A Problem?


"If you are concerned about being abusive with your partner, ask yourself these questions and consider them as the warning signs of a problem."

  1. Was there violence in your family?
  2. During conflict do you often threaten someone, break things, punch walls, slam doors, ignore your partner, or leave?
  3. Do you have mood swings, where one moment you feel loving and affectionate, and the next moment angry and threatening?
  4. Have you ever used physical violence (shoved, grabbed, hit, slapped, choked, etc.) your partner, or any past partners?
  5. Do you tend to blame others for your behavior, especially your partner?
  6. Are you a very jealous person?
  7. Do you try to control how your partner thinks, dresses, who she sees, how your partner spends their time, how your partner spends their money?
  8. Do you try to discourage your partner from seeing their friends or family?
  9. Do you get angry or resentful when your partner is successful in a job or hobby?
  10. Do your conversations quickly escalate into threats of separation or divorce?
  11. Do you ever threaten to hurt your partner, yourself, or others, if your partner talks about leaving you?
  12. Do you do or say things that are designed to make your partner feel "crazy" or "stupid"?
  13. Do you blame alcohol, drugs, stress, or other life events for your behavior?
  14. Do you feel guilty after aggressive behavior and strive for your partner's forgiveness?
  15. Do you think that you could never live without your partner, yet other times want your partner out?
  16. Do you use sex, money, or other favors as a way to "make up" after conflict?
  17. Is your partner afraid of you sometimes?
   Continued - expanded list