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What do I lose by being nonassertive ?
  1. Independence
  2. Power to make decisions
  3. Honesty in relationships
  4. The respect of others for my rights and wishes
  5. My ability to control my emotions (rather than holding them back and then blowing up)
  6. Relaxation
  7. My ability to influence other’s decisions, demands, expectations
  8. The satisfaction of initiating and carrying out plans.

What do I GAIN by being Nonassertive ?
Everyone will answer this in their own way; it’s certainly worth examining. Some people like the dependent position of being non-assertive. May be you think people won’t like you if you act assertively. It takes a certain amount of self-respect to decide to behave assertively. Do you like yourself enough to behave assertively?

The Assertiveness Hierarchy
Creating a hierarchy means that you will make a list of situations that create anxiety in you when you try to behave assertively. The lines are numbered from one through nine. Number one will be a situation that makes you a little tense. Number two will be a situation that makes you a little more tense and number 3, most tense, Follow this procedure for all categories below.

  1 _______________________________________________
Refusal 2 ________________________________________________
  3 ________________________________________________
  4 _________________________________________________
Request 5 __________________________________________________
  6 __________________________________________________
  7 __________________________________________________
Expressive 8 __________________________________________________
  9 __________________________________________________





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