Although this list was originally published in 1982, it is still very
relevant today. This list was prepared by the Child Sexual Abuse Clinical
Consultation Group at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, Washington.
Children/Teens should be concerned if an older person or adult is
demonstrating one or more of the following behaviors with them:-
Treating you different from other kids.
Wanting to spend time alone with you, making excuses to go places or have
Asking you to do things that involve physical contact, like giving backrubs,
Doing things to you that involve physical contact, giving backrubs, massaging
you, wanting to help you wash.
Accidentally-on-purpose touching your private parts - brushing against
breasts while wrestling, rubbing body against yours.
Putting lotion or ointment on when mother or others are not around or when
nothing is wrong.
Accidently-on-purpose coming into your room while you are undressed or in the
bathroom while you are in there.
Not respecting your privacy, coming in your room without knocking, not
allowing you to close doors to bathroom or bedrooms.
Asking questions or making accusations about sexual things between you and
Teaching sex education by showing pornographic pictures, showing his body or
Saying sexual things about your body or how you dress.
Talking to you about sexual things he has done.
Telling you private things about his wife/your mother.
Saying you are special, different, only one who really understands, better
than his wife.
Treating you like an adult or him acting like a child.
Giving you special privileges or favors and making you feel obligated.
Treating you meaner than others.
Not letting you have friends or do things that other kids your age do.
Telling you not to tell your mother or other people about things that happen
Coming into your bedroom at night.
Accidentally on purpose letting his robe fall open, walking around without
Sexual abuse isn't always penetration. There are many forms of abuse. It may
involve touching, constant comments or other behavior that makes you feel
uncomfortable. Your gut instinct may be telling you something is wrong - TRUST
Sexual offenders come in all shapes and sizes. Some of the behavior that is
listed above, is what is called a "grooming process". That is a period of time
in which the offender "tests" your reactions. It gives the offender time to
discover how far he can go and whether or not you will tell anyone.
If these things are happening to you, find an adult you trust and talk to
them about it. You could talk to the school counselor, a relative, friend, your
doctor or contact a crisis line or sexual assault center in your area. If
someone is doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it is important
for you to find someone to check it out with. Don't be embarrassed to ask